1. It is completely acceptable for White people to listen to hardcore Gangster rap
Actually it’s the norm. San Francisco has some fantastically filthy Hip Hop radio stations. I think I’ve just become accustomed to it now. I like to play the same songs to my friends back in the UK and see their shocked faces.
Put a hump in your back and shake your rump!
2. In ‘n’ Out Burger is Mecca
I’m not normally a Burger fan, but there’s some culinary voodoo going on here. In ‘n’ Out burger uses only the freshest ingredients and you can only find it in California and parts of Arizona.
If you’re driving up the Pacific Coast highway you’ll see a bunch of these so don’t hesitate to pull in and try one when you spot the little red arrow sign – you won’t regret it!
My order’s two double doubles, animal style fries and a chocolate shake. Thanks!
3. The Amtrak service makes you think you’re in outer Mongolia
The USA is an advanced, efficient Country right? Well I’m starting to doubt that after using the Amtrak! Not only do the countless stops make the train journeys substantially longer than the same route via car, you’ll notice delays for ridiculous reasons [“There’s only one train line, and there’s a train coming the other way folks so uh, guess we’re here for an hour!”] When I compare the Amtrak to trains I’ve taken in Africa and Asia, the developing countries are winning hands down every time!
4. People really are as Beautiful as they say
There must be something in the Water… Californians are all about juicing and running/cycling/blading by the beach. Almost makes me feel bad about my predominantly cake based diet…Almost.
5. Calling Dr. Greenthumb
Medical marijuana stores are all over the place here – who knew Mary J was such a cure all herb? You can get it prescribed to you for Migraines, stress, epilepsy, the list is endless…
I wouldn’t worry though, I’m SURE the shady looking Mexican guys that give out their business cards at Venice Beach are registered MDs…
6. Sneaky Po Po
There’s some Grand Theft Auto-esque behavior that goes on on California Highway 101.
The feds hide behind bushes and parked vehicles at the sides and middle of the roads to try and catch people speeding.
7. Gnarly Dude
Californians have their own vocab.
“That shit was gnarly dude”
English translation: “That wasn’t very nice”
English translation: “A bit odd”
8. I like Short Shorts
It’s acceptable to wear short shorts and Daisy Dukes everywhere you go – from the beach, to restaurants, to the night clubs. Get dressed up? Why would I do that? I’m O-K dancing around the Santa Barbara Wildcat with a bra full of sand.
9. Hey Gringo!
Mexican food is everywhere – You’ll be sick of taquitos, tacos and burritos by the time you leave California… then you’ll whinge that you can’t find good Mexican food. Taco Bell? Don’t swear!
10. You haven’t seen rain in a while and when it does rain, you think the World is going to end.
Oh my God! What is this? Water particles are falling from the Sky!! Call 911 ! Call the FBI ! Call Area 51 ! What is this?! Gnarly Dude!
11. He may be small and green but he does Avocado
Avocadoes are growing all over the place so they’ve become a staple part of your diet. All of your friends have their own recipes for homemade guacamole – you always find it on the table with a side of crisps when you rock up to someone’s house.